i am taller.
6 inches more. HAHA :D if i am, i'm definitely not in here. i will surely join ALL the pageants and modelings.
i can drive.
i wanted to wander around the city on motorbikes. i'm jealous of the thrills those drivers experienced. the boy in me cries for this.
i had enough or more money and Mom is still around.
i so miss her. very much. everyday i tried to be okay. i kept on wearing this happy face. but i am still grieving. i wanted to sleep all the time 'coz in my dreams she's alive and we're happy. in my dreams everything is okay and colorful. now that she's gone, i feel like i'm a different person. now, all things taste the same - bland. i am not sad, i am not happy either.
they say 'everything happens for a reason'. but you know what, until now i have not understood the reason why it has to be this way. why everything has to be complex. every angle is complicated. i'm sick of it.
But i am smiling. :)
yes i am.
i feel like i don't have a choice but to be strong and i don't know what else to do.
i don't want to be miserable. i want a happy life. so despite all these complexities I SMILE :)
20.9.11
13.9.11
it hurts, ya know!
Are you hurting, too? ;p
Hmmnn...
Have you ever experienced standing in front of a crowd hamming up the best performance of your life, you were so engrossed and your energy was escalating and with all your passion you just close your eyes and let your heart dance and sing with so much life and zeal, and you hear them scream, shout, cheer, clap and all, and you opened your eyes and found out that they were not looking at you?
Ako, di pa. Di naman ako nag-audition sa PGT. Di rin ako nakapag-audition sa PBB.
This, in my life, is just a hypothetical situation. It may or may not happen to me.
I'm giving Showtime a second thought, though. HAHA :D
Pero di nga. Let's go back to the hypothetical situation. If this happens to you, how would you react? What would you feel? You wouldn't be happy, would you? Mahihiya ka na di mo maintindihan. Para kang baliw nagnganga-ngawa mag-isa. Now, let us give the situation another twist. What if your passive audience are the people you expected to listen to you, to cheer for you, to scream your name and clap for you, the people who're suppose to support you no matter what it takes, the people who are close to your heart, your family. Or the people you consider as your family for you no longer have your own. Magda-drama ka pa bang galit ka kung ang totoo'y nasaktan ka ng sobra?
Anger is different from pain, my friend.
I am not angry, BIRDS. I'm pained. And still hurting.
And this what I realized, You'd never feel the pain unless you love the one who caused it.
And I am very thankful to my boys as always. They always knew when I needed them most. Sweet kisses from them made me feel better and took the sore away.
The orange-tabby cat is Albert Einstein and the white-batcat is Isaac Newton. James Clerk Maxwell was out, busy chasing the waves that travel through space at a speed of light :)5.9.11
Intrams 2011
when did life stop being fun and start being scary?
don't tell me when so i won't be scared.
i super enjoyed the 4-day intramurals last week, from tuesday to friday.
sana intrams pa rin next week at sa susunod pang mga linggo. ang sarap ng feeling.
no pressure, just fun!
Day 1
parade. ang init!
super uhaw na. :p
Day 2
where are my paparazzis?
Day 3
di ko kabalo magkadang. ;p
Day 4, last day
over-all champion lang naman kami :D
tomorrooowwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! back to regular class na. :) sige na nga, excited na ako. HAHA!
i love life!
i'm back! and i am alive.
this blog has been inactive for about 2 years. my last post dated february 22, 2009 was a suicidal note, my note. yes, you read it right. i planned to end my life. and i was really about to do it.about to do it. pero di ko nagawa, natakot ako. anyway, since then i never had the guts to visit this blog until today. as i looked into my profile, there displayed approximately 87 profile views. whoa! though there is no comment in any of my posts but surely my posts have been read.
reading my previous posts, natatawa na lang ako. if i have to compare those trials sa pinagdaanan ko from february 2010 until march 2011, walang wala lang yun. but here i am, still sane and intact.
thank God!
now, i am announcing that i still exist in this world. yehey!
and i decided to revive this blog. to start anew, i changed the title from 'the sweetest downfall' to 'miss karats'. i have edited my profile too. i removed the old pic which is so gothic and replaced it with a vintage yet classy one.
ngayon, sobrang love ko na ang life! kahit na minsan di ko maintindihan. kahit na rin minsan sobrang sakit na. after all, i am my mother's daughter. nothing can break me. proven!
i love life!
let us celebrate life :)
I eat. I pray. I love. I laugh. I live.
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